


Bay City Pirates

by PatL



Category: Starsky and Hutch - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-28
Updated: 2003-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-08 13:03:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/75916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatL/pseuds/PatL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Holloween and Starsky and Hutch help out at a local hospital. Come join the fun!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bay City Pirates

Bay City Pirates  
A Halloween Story

David Starsky stood in front of the mirror and adjusted his three-cornered hat. Growling realistically, he spoke to the image in the mirror.  
"Ahoy there, Matey! Shiver me timbers!"  
He grinned at his reflection, turning from side to side to see the full effect of the costume. The white ruffled shirt and the black leggings looked as if they'd been made especially for him. He made swiping motions with the sword, putting one foot behind him in a fencing stance. He laughed with delight. Halloween was one of his favorite holidays of the year, and he was really looking forward to this one.  
He glanced at his partner, who was standing to one side. "Hey, Hutch, don't you want to try on your costume? We don't have much time to get it altered if it doesn't fit."  
Ken Hutchinson scowled as he watched the over-grown child cavorting in front of the mirror.   
"They don't do alterations on rental costumes, Starsky. Don't worry, it'll fit. What I don't understand is, why pirates? Why couldn't you have picked something else?"  
"Hey, pirates are cool." He tilted the hat slightly forward on his head. "Besides, that's all the store had left in our sizes."  
"I would have pegged you for something more traditional, like Dracula or the Wolf man."  
"Hutch, we're going to be at Memorial Hospital, helping the X-ray techs. We don't want to scare the kids."  
"Of course not. Why do we have to wear costumes, any way? The techs won't be wearing them."  
"Sure they will! I talked to Mandy yesterday. She's coming as Mother Goose."  
"Well, if she wants to look ridiculous, that's fine. Why do I have to?"  
Starsky looked askance at his partner. "Hutch, it's Halloween! We have to wear costumes! Come on; it's for a good cause. Now, try your costume on, please?"  
Grumbling the whole time, Hutch opened the box lying on Starsky's bed. He dressed quickly then turned to his partner for inspection. The red shirt and black pants were similar to Starsky's, but instead of a sword and tri-cornered hat, his costume came with a black sash and a red bandanna with skull and crossbones on it. As he adjusted the sash around his waist with one hand, he motioned to the last accessory still lying in the box with the other.   
"And exactly what is that supposed to be?"  
Starsky picked it up, grinning wickedly. He slipped the strap over Hutch's arm and settled the object on his shoulder. "It's a parrot. You know, Polly want a cracker? There, now you look like a pirate."  
The green and red stuffed animal stayed upright on his perch for a moment. Then, slowly, gravity took over and soon the bird was upside down, hanging underneath the red sleeve. Starsky gave his partner a sheepish look then righted the animal. After staying in place for another minute, it slid down again.  
Hutch took the thing off his shoulder and studied it. "Starsky that is the worst excuse for a parrot I've ever seen. I'm not going to wear that thing on my shoulder all night long."  
Starsky patiently took the bird from his friend and returned it to its proper place. "But, Hutch, you gotta! It came with the costume."  
He tried not to smile as the toy succumbed to physics once again, and dangled from its strap.  
With a long suffering sigh, Hutch took the offending animal off then fixed his friend with a pointed look. "Your costume didn't come with a parrot."  
Starsky grinned and made fencing motions with the sword. "That's because my costume came with this neat sword."  
"Why didn't I get the costume with the sword instead of this dumb parrot? I can't believe I just said that."  
He took off the bandanna and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I'm sitting here arguing about Halloween costumes. How do I let you get me into these things?"  
Starsky patted his cheek then put the parrot back on his shoulder. "Because underneath that hard-boiled exterior, you're just a big softie, that's why." He put on his best puppy dog eyes for his partner. "Come on, Hutch. It's for the kids."  
Hutch turned his head and looked at the parrot. He could see the bird start to lean again. Before it could slide off, he removed it and threw it back in the box.  
"OK, but I am NOT wearing the parrot."  
Starsky threw his hands up in surrender. "Fine, have it your way." As he turned back to the mirror, he grumbled under his breath. "What a party pooper!"

 

Memorial Hospital was a medium-sized facility in Bay City. Always civic-minded, X-raying Halloween candy at no cost was only one of their services to the community. In recent years, horror stories of razor blades and other foreign objects being found in treats had nearly stopped parents from allowing their children the joy of trick or treating. Even when children stayed in their own neighborhoods and went only to people they knew, the fear of a tragedy was still foremost in their parents' minds. So, in addition to handing out candy, the techs at Memorial gave up part of their evening to make sure the holiday was enjoyable and safe for everyone.  
A small table had been set up for the night in the hall between the X-ray department and the ER. Starsky and Hutch sat on one side of the table with a large bowl of candy between them. As the kids came in with their sacks of edible treasures, the detectives noted the time on a chart. Then one of the techs ushered them into the appropriate rooms for X-raying. As each child left, they were given a generous helping of goodies from the bowl.   
After a few hours, Hutch had to admit that he was enjoying himself. The kids were adorable and some of the costumes were very original. There was one incident that dampened the mood a bit, but the culprit turned out to be a wayward penny at the bottom of a bag. So far, Hutch's faith in humanity was once again justified. He'd seen what adults were capable of doing to each other, but at least this night remained untainted for the kids.  
Starsky, on the other hand, was in his element. His enthusiasm for life was unbounded as he put on impromptu skits for the kids and shamelessly flirted with the nurses in the hospital. Hutch smiled to himself. You never stopped seeing Tinkerbell, did you, buddy? I think you could give Peter Pan a run for his money in the I-don't-wanna-grow-up department."

So, as a steady stream of Frankenstein's, Witches and Princesses passed through the department, Hutch relaxed and lost himself in the fun. The traffic was just beginning to slow down when a young girl dressed as Barbie came in with her father. As Hutch jotted the time down and waited for one of the rooms to become available, the little girl looked him over with a serious expression on her face.  
"What are you supposed to be?"  
Hutch looked surprised. "I'm a pirate."  
She looked at him with doubt in her eyes. "If you're a pirate, where's Polly?"  
"Who?"  
"Polly, your parrot. Pirates are supposed to have parrots on their shoulders."   
The blond pointed at Starsky. "He's a pirate, and he doesn't have a parrot on his shoulder."  
"Yeah, but he has a neat sword. Pirates don't have to have parrots when they have swords." She shook her had sadly. "You don't know much about pirates, do you?"  
Fortunately, before Hutch had to formulate an answer, Mandy came for Barbie and her pink bucket of goodies. The blond turned to glare at his partner, who was trying unsuccessfully to stifle his laughter.   
He pointed a long finger at his friend. "Don't say a word! 'Where's Polly?' He's back at the nuthouse, where I should be for letting you con me into this."  
Starsky laughed out loud and spread his hands out. "Hey, it's not my fault that you left Polly back in the box. I told you that you should have worn him."  
Hutch growled. "Starsky, if there weren't so many kids around, I'd tell you just where you could put that parrot."  
For a response, the brunet only laughed harder. Hutch threw him one last glare then settled back in his seat. He pointedly ignored the occasional giggle that emanated from his partner.   
As the witching hour grew close, the stream of ghosts and goblins trickled down. Finally, the two detectives divided the rest of the candy between the last of the kids and closed up shop. They were saying good-bye to the techs when a yell came from the ER.  
"Hey, man, take it easy! We're only trying to help you."  
"Bull shit! You just want to lock me up and I ain't going!"  
"Look; you're bleeding. That cut needs stitches. Let us do our job, Mr. Walters."  
"No way! You're not getting near me with a needle while those cops are standing around. You'll knock me out and I'll wake up behind bars, like usual."  
The two detectives rushed across the hall. The object of the doctor's attention was standing behind one of the gurneys, holding an oxygen tank in his hands. Starsky slipped behind one of the nurses.  
"What's going on?"  
The dark-haired nurse motioned toward the patient. "His name's Johnny Walters. He's one of our regulars. Two uniforms brought him in a few minutes ago. He got into a fight with some men outside a bar. The police broke it up but Johnny got cut before they got there. Whenever he gets a few shots of whiskey under his belt, he thinks he's ten feet tall and bullet proof. The county lock up is like his home away from home. I guess this time he decided he didn't want to go."  
Starsky exchanged looks with his partner, shaking his head slightly. If they got closer, it would only antagonize the wounded man. He turned back to the nurse.  
"So, why don't you just gang up on him? You've got him out numbered."  
She laughed sardonically. "Do you see that oxygen tank in his hands? If he throws that thing and the gauge pops off, the explosion will take out this whole department. He might as well be holding a bomb."  
Starsky muttered under his breath. "Terrific." He motioned to Hutch, backing out the door.  
After they were back in the hallway, Hutch raised an eyebrow. "So, what do you want to do?"  
"Well, we can't just go charging in there. The nurse said that tank was like a bomb. If it goes off, a lot of innocent people are going to be hurt. Thank God he can't make us as cops. As long as his attention stays on the uniforms, maybe we can create a diversion."  
The banter they'd shared dissolved into seriousness as Hutch took in the scene. "What kind of diversion did you have in mind?"  
Starsky snapped his fingers. "I think I have the perfect plan."  
A few minutes later, Starsky reentered the emergency room, supporting Hutch as they staggered toward their quarry. The blond was doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach. The astonished nurses and doctor goggled at the scene as Starsky called out agitatedly.  
"Hey, I need some help here!"  
Before anyone could move, the recalcitrant patient protested loudly. "Don't come any closer, friend! In case you haven't noticed, we're a little busy right now."  
Starsky kept moving until he was in the cubicle next to Walters. He settled Hutch onto the gurney then raised his hands in supplication.  
"Look, I don't know what your problem is, friend, but my buddy needs help. We were at a party when he just collapsed. I think he was poisoned or something."  
To add to the charade, Hutch moaned loudly and turned onto his side. Walters looked doubtfully at the newcomer then nodded and motioned to the doctor.  
"OK, you can take a look at him. But I want those pigs to stay where they are. If one of you so much as twitches, I'll cure this guy the hard way."  
Starsky moved to the front of the gurney, giving the doctor room to examine his partner. The wounded man watched in curiosity, his own predicament forgotten for a moment. When the doctor bent over him, the blond winked then groaned louder. The doctor's eyes widened as he caught on to the deception. He looked over at Walters.  
"I need one of the nurses to help me. This man is in agony. There's a blue tinge around his mouth and his pulse is out of control. He's obviously been poisoned. If I don't get his heart stabilized, he could go into cardiac arrest."  
Walters growled at the request but nodded. "OK, but just one. I don't want anybody else to move."  
As the doctor and nurse worked feverishly on the fake patient, Walters became engrossed in the scene. Slowly, Starsky slid closer to the wounded man. As the oxygen tank in Walters' hand dropped a fraction, the dark-haired detective made his move. Shoving Walters hard in the side, he wrenched the tank out of his grip and tossed it to the nurse in one fluid movement. Instantly, Hutch was off the table and launching himself at the disarmed man. Together, the two detectives wrestled him to the floor.   
Hutch slapped the seat of his pants then made a face. Starsky recognized the blond's intent and grinned.  
"What's the matter, partner? Did you forget to bring your handcuffs?"  
The look the blond gave him was scathing. "Take a good look, Starsky. Where would I put them?"  
One of the uniformed officers laughed and leaned over the blond detective. "Here, Hutch, you can borrow mine."  
Soon, the wounded man was sufficiently subdued and back on the gurney. The two detectives stood with the uniformed officers, watching closely. When Walters was ready to be transported, the officer that had recognized them looked the two detectives over from head to toe.  
"Those are some good looking costumes you have there, guys. But, where's your parrot, Hutch? You need a parrot to be a pirate."  
As Starsky guffawed, Hutch glared at him. "Starsky, if you say one word, so help me, I'll-"

The next day, as the two men returned their costumes to the store, Starsky nudged his friend in the shoulder.   
"Now, you gotta admit that you had a good time last night. Even you couldn't resist those kids in their costumes."  
Hutch shrugged sheepishly. "OK, I admit it. I'm glad you talked me into it. The kids were cute and we did keep Walters from hurting the people that were trying to help him."  
"Good. Then I can tell Mandy that we'll do it again next year."  
Hutch glowered at his friend. "OK, but on one condition. Next time, I get to pick the costumes."  
Starsky looked suspiciously at his friend. "Well, OK, but don't pick anything weird, like giant stalks of celery or something. Make it something people can recognize."  
Hutch nodded. "OK, so how about we go as mustard and ketchup?"  
"Now you're being silly."  
As they walked out of the store, the blond made other suggestions. "OK, how about we go as a hamburger and French fries? But I get to be the fries."  
"And just how am I supposed to sit down if I'm wearing a huge hamburger bun? Come on, Hutch. I want to wear something cool."  
"OK, how about Peter Pan and Tinkerbell? You'd look really cool in a tutu. And if you're good, I'll even let you carry a magic wand." He grinned wickedly at the brunet. "Of course, you'd have to shave those legs first. We wouldn't want to scare the kiddies."  
The blond took off running with Starsky close on his heels.  
"HUUUUTCH!"


End file.
